Encounter in a Darkish Room by B.B. Clemente, Jr.

“I am not nugatory,” I stated. However I knew he did not hear me. I assume even when he did, he would not care.

I used to be nicely dressed, nicely mannered, and clearly clever… but he introduced me right here.

There was a glimmer of sunshine. I turned. He was coming in, his fats stomach hanging excessive of his striped drawers. He was holding an extended skinny candle, and the flickering gentle made his small bushy chest appear enormous and highly effective.

I stared on the flame. It shimmered. It was heat. However the extra I stared, the extra the person holding it appeared to vary. Now he did not appear like an government. Now he did not appear so innocent.

He walked slowly in the direction of me.

“Aren’t you undressed but?” His voice was hoarse however commanding. His breaths had been fast and full of anticipation.

“Ah, only a minute, please.” The cramps in my abdomen returned. The ache I assumed gone was once more creeping up my again. “Are you able to a minimum of activate the sunshine?”

He held the candle nearer to me and shook his head.

Respiratory deeply, I started slowly taking off my grey, three-piece swimsuit. I folded the jacket meticulously and draped it on the small headboard. Then I obtained the chills, these damned chills, adopted by the inevitable sweating. It was scorching. I felt suffocated. It was thirty levels out, the window open, however I used to be suffocating.

I needed to management it.

Fortuitously there have been no buildings reverse us. No lighted home windows. I used to be grateful, so I continued to undress. I struggled to pressure my pants down over my hips and puzzled immediately if I had gained some sudden weight or had purchased my pants too small.

The sweat trickled down my brow. I may really feel its icy trails rolling down my arms. I used to be shocked to see a big filth stain on the seat of my pants. I folded them rapidly, hoping he hadn’t observed. I made a vow to have them cleaned then continued eradicating my garments, by no means taking my eyes off him.

He sat on the foot of the mattress with an impatient smile on his face.

I eliminated my shirt-vest and with out which means to, wiped my forehead with it. I virtually ripped off my bra. It was crushing me! All of the whereas I stored my arms crossed over my chest.

A chilly wind blew in from the open window. I rubbed my arms furiously, making an attempt to get the blood circulating. I discovered it chilly now. Freezing.

With out pondering, I jumped up and slammed the window down so arduous he virtually dropped the candle on himself.

“Silly bitch,” he screamed. “You virtually ruined it.” However he rapidly checked himself, “No drawback.”

I felt my arms cemented in opposition to my chest. Now I had nothing on besides my purple bikini panties. Have been they stained as nicely!

He stared. He smiled. For a very long time, he stared and he smiled. He held the candle nearer to me. Together with his different hand he pried my arms unfastened. The lengthy thick scar that ran throughout the center of my chest was clearly seen to him now.

He checked out it deeply with intense fascination then ran his finger up and down its size. “Souvenirs,” he stated with a smile, whereas tracing its jagged edges.

I froze. Felt insufficient. But, I would not give him the satisfaction of bringing again the lengthy suppressed ache.

Whereas making an attempt to realize some semblance of management, I yawned. Then I could not cease yawning.

He observed the beads of sweat breaking out on my brow once more. “Don’t fret,” he stated. “Simply do what Harry desires and I assure to cease the sweats. You will make greater than sufficient cash to get your self mounted.”

He knew! Dammit, he will need to have recognized from the start.

He gave me a more in-depth look. “What’s obtained you? Ache drugs? Fentanyl? Heroin?”

When he obtained no response, he put his hand on his chin, grew to become mockingly pensive, then held up a pinky whereas making an exaggerated toasting gesture and stated, “Too many martinis maybe?”

I did not reply.

“Hmmm,” he mused. And, after what appeared like intense contemplation, his expression turned naughty. “Crack!” he declared. “Sure, crack,” he giggled, satisfied he had discovered the reply.

I felt too humiliated to reply.

“Regardless of,” he stated. “I am going to make you are feeling actual good. The best way folks your age ought to really feel.”

“I am not just like the others,” I stated.

“After all you are not,” he stated.

As soon as once more he held the candle in entrance of me.

With out trying up, I felt these disarming blue eyes learning me. I thought of my hips and the way they had been now so disproportionately giant for my physique. I assumed concerning the lengthy rows of stretch marks that ran down my stomach and settled above my crotch. Stretch marks trying extra like scars, which previous lovers with out exception discovered ugly, regardless of my a number of makes an attempt to cover them with pubic hair.

“Sure,” he stated, approvingly, “you are not eighteen anymore, however you are still agency. You are good trying too. Pale white pores and skin. Massive robust bones. And that delicate candy curve of your mouth… defiant! So proud.” He breathed deeply, and, shaking his head stated, “Ah, makes a person take into consideration the simpler ones.”

He stood silent for a second whereas the candle despatched its shimmering gentle on him and me. He appeared absorbed by its glow and didn’t seem to thoughts the wax dripping on his hand. He started to reminisce then stated, “You are available in all flavors. All ages.” And, virtually as an afterthought he added, “My spouse was sixteen. Poor factor.”

I regarded up and noticed the decay in his tooth. I did not discover it earlier than. Nor did I discover his hair. Unusual, however his hair did not look so gentle and white earlier than. I assumed he was bald.

One other sharp ache attacked my abdomen. I felt my bowels weakening. I used to be terrified that disgust, like so many occasions prior to now, and in so many locations, can be the reason for my leaving with nothing.

“The illness is powerful, is not it?” he stated. “It has you. However we are able to repair that.”

Simply then he checked out me in such an actually appreciative means, that for an on the spot, only one on the spot, I felt weak and heat and numb inside. The ache was gone. I checked out his inexperienced eyes. I obtained misplaced in them. Felt the heat of the flame. The sweating stopped.

The best way he checked out me! Stripped of pretense, actual, unashamed, susceptible. Animal.

For the primary time I noticed true Lust.

It surprised me as a result of it was so easy. I noticed into him. None of my “‘souvenirs'” appeared to trouble him. They did not matter. He wanted me. The little man left himself open. Not even on the peak of my attractiveness was I ever checked out with such sincere need.

I felt highly effective.

Then, the ache got here. It got here merciless and unforgiving. I felt my sphincter muscle weakening. Due to the ache, I noticed the evil. I had deluded myself. His was the Energy.

“I informed you I might ease the pains,” he stated. “However we made a cut price. You are going to should let your self go.”

He stared on the flame. It lived. It referred to as.

“I’ve had every kind of girls. Every kind of males,” he stated. “However there’s simply one thing concerning the middle-aged that I like. You are so ripe. So set in your methods. So unchangeably changeable.”

I needed I used to be wherever else however right here, or with anybody else however with him. To maintain from bolting out of the room, I thought of Archie and his women on Eighth Avenue. Every of them carried serenity of their pockets and the promise of bliss. However by now they’d be near operating out of their provide.

“Please,” I begged, “can I simply… can I simply go down on you?”

“You need to go down on me,” he mused. “No child. You agreed. 4 hundred {dollars} and also you do what I requested.” He regarded deep into my eyes. “It actually is not a lot, now could be it?” He regarded on the candle then smiled. “Time’s operating out.”

I could not undergo with it. Possibly I hoped he’d change his thoughts when he noticed me nude, however his eyes informed me completely different. Concern stored me from transferring. I grew to become painfully conscious of each a part of my physique I not managed.

Please, God –

“Do not battle me. You are not robust sufficient.” He held out his hand. “Come, I am positive you have performed worse.” He guided me to him. “Now, if you wish to begin the present by happening on me… I may reside with that.”

I noticed the small bulge protruding of his crotch. Rapidly I dropped my head to his lap. If I hurried up and gave him pleasure, possibly he’d be glad with that and present mercy.

And, if I labored quick, I may be in time to catch Archie himself, or on the very least certainly one of his women, earlier than the much less needy discovered them and bought the peace that I deserved. Then I might be high-quality. Then the ugly little man would not matter. An previous man like him could not final that lengthy anyway.

Inexplicably, I hesitated for a second. Wild disjointed ideas racing by means of my thoughts.

The snake in my physique stated I used to be gutless.

“You are not the primary,” the person stated, letting drops of candle wax drip on the evening stand and punctiliously settling the candle on them.

Grabbing my hair, he firmly held my head to his crotch.

I took a deep breath to regulate the twitching of my physique. Earlier than I misplaced the nerve, I closed my eyes and let him push that tiny factor into me. It was tiny and it stayed tiny. It was nothing… nothing… nothing.

Sure, I may deal with it.

I could not assist however get misplaced in his naturalness. I regarded up for approval. He moaned. I labored. His robust tanned arms performed with the curls of my hair. I labored. He moaned. He referred to as me his finest. I moaned.

The time approached. I felt it getting nearer. No cares. No worries. The heat … the goals… the butterflies!

Lastly, he let loose a louder moan.

“Okay… sufficient,” I stated, straightening up.

“It is not sufficient till I say it is sufficient,” he stated. He picked up the candle and stared at it till the wax started dripping on his hand once more. He eyes drilled into mine. “We made a cut price.”

“Look, simply give me a number of the cash and I am going to go away.”

“Silly youngster.”

The illness returned.

I used to be pressured to listen to his taunting laughter.

Defiantly I grabbed him once more, decided to show he could not final. I felt him develop in my hand… and develop. He grew greater than earlier than. He wasn’t little anymore.

The snake in my physique laughed loudest.

“No,” I stated. “No, you may’t be greater!”

It needed to be the illness, or the room. I went again to work.

He writhed his agency robust stomach in opposition to my face.

I labored feverishly. I labored more durable than I’ve ever labored in my life. The sweat burned my eyes. The wax singed my hair. My neck muscular tissues rebelled in opposition to the livid bobbing.

He referred to as me his mistress.

I smelled the carbon. That engaging scent of burning flame stuffed me with anticipation. By the haze I noticed the pearly whiteness of his tooth, the curling patch of white round his crotch.

“My candy younger boy,” he stated.

Sure…

He grew even greater and stronger. He tasted sweeter. Despite all of it, I discovered myself getting aroused. In gratitude, I attempted to take him in additional.

Savoring my makes an attempt, he lastly moaned his launch.

I made a transfer to rise up. “Can I’ve my cash now?”

“It is nonetheless not sufficient,” he stated. However now he had an odd expression on his face.

For the primary time, he appeared to lose some confidence. He obtained up and hurriedly went into the toilet.

I used to be left considering the candle he left on the evening stand. It was getting shorter.

My neck and again had been aching. I searched the drawers of the tiny bureau for a towel however, like every little thing else within the room, they had been empty.

I discovered a clear a part of the sheet hanging from the aspect of the mattress and rubbed the sweat from my chest. Then, by means of the shimmering gentle I noticed what I had initially thought had been stains on the wall. I used to be fallacious. They weren’t stains in any respect, however graffiti, half-hidden at the hours of darkness.

Holding the candle up, I strained to see clearer.

4 of the eight I could not make out, however the fifth stated: Preserve em closed.

The sixth, adorned with smiling faces and written in what gave the impression to be eyebrow pencil, said: You will by no means be removed from my coronary heart.

The seventh stated: There are extra issues Horatio…

And the eighth, in a really manly hand proclaimed: God loves ME – ONLY ME. The final E trailed off right into a shaky line that appeared to run indefinitely underneath the mattress.

I cursed myself for permitting the graffiti to open my long-buried vault of denial. I immediately felt haunted by the reminiscence of confused, tiny faces deserted by means of no fault of their very own. I vowed to –

“Eight,” the person stated, getting back from the toilet. By some means, he was renewed, thicker, bigger, and clearly stronger. He had eliminated his drawers and that lengthy pole in entrance of him taunted me… beckoned.

At one time, I truly believed I may deal with even that.

He walked to the mattress and delicately shooed me away. Meticulously, he positioned eight fifty greenback payments on the mattress within the form of a physique, and lay on high of them, cautious to not cover their edges. He grabbed the candle from me and positioned it on the evening stand so it shone on his face and chest and the payments.

Folding his fingers, he stated, “Now!”

“Please, I assumed -”

“Eight! Yours for the taking.”

“However different folks do it solely as soon as and stroll away.”

“You are not different folks,” he stated.

From underneath his physique I may see the crisp edges of the payments. They mocked me.

God, please. I can not do that anymore.

“Come,” he stated, grabbing my hand.

I put my foot on the mattress and weakly climbed onto it. The cramps returned, sharper, crueler. My legs shook uncontrollably.

I’ve a Grasp’s diploma. I’ve a Grasp’s diploma!

Rapidly I positioned myself over the huge organ.

“No!” he protested. “You’ll be able to’t renege on this cut price.”

My gamble did not work. He guided me additional up. Then, whereas I half stood making an attempt to squat over his chest, legs wobbling, and making an attempt to tug my panties down, my sphincter lastly betrayed me.

“Soiled lady,” he whispered, very softly.

I jumped up and doing and bumped into the toilet in abject humiliation.

I cursed the snake in my physique for letting him win.

The tiny rest room offered solely a short lived reprieve. Shaking, I cleaned up as finest I may regardless of the pounding of my coronary heart. I attempted to compose myself. It took a while earlier than I used to be in a position to catch my breath.

After what appeared an extended whereas, I discovered the braveness to stroll out.

“Sure,” he stated, more than happy to see me. His eyes had been extensive and he was grinning. That factor was even more durable and greater than earlier than.

“Now,” he implored, whereas shutting his eyes. “Please, my angel. Come over and end it now.”

“No. Nothing,” I whispered, as I grabbed my garments and backed distant from him. Maintaining my distance, I started to decorate.

He did not cease me.

“Okay,” he stated, “together with your garments on, my angel. Now it does not matter.”

Averting my eyes, I continued dressing. My arms, my again, my legs felt the rising pains of withdrawal, however I could not return to him.

Simply then, within the softest, sweetest voice I might ever heard, he stated, “Have a look at me darling. Have a look at me youngster.”

I needed to look.

I jumped again in opposition to the wall, shaking. My God… I could not take my eyes off that factor. It simply stored rising, rising… and rising!

I attempted to show away. Shut my eyes. Inform myself it wasn’t taking place. I could not. It was monstrous.

“Who the fuck are you!” I screamed.

He was laughing maniacally now as his grey eyes minimize by means of me.

“Contact it,” he commanded. “Contact it and also you’re mine once more.”

I could not assist however go to him.

He grabbed my arm. I made no try to battle him.

“You see, my pricey,” he stated. “The illness is simply too robust. Harry will make it so nothing issues.”

The pains had been now excruciating.

Unable to withstand, I let him information me. My fingers settled on it. Even each fingers couldn’t shut round its thickness. It was highly effective… arduous and rippling with life. Each inch of my palms felt every speeding vein bringing new power into that factor.

God, assist me earlier than I lose myself utterly.

I checked out him. He was smiling triumphantly. His lengthy excellent tooth supplied to engulf me of their whiteness. His grey eyes had been magnetic, heat, delicate… mesmerizing.

“That is it,” he stated. “Overlook about anything. Simply get Harry off!”

The cash! Archie, I may nonetheless catch you in time. In your pocket is the last word calm… the serenity. No extra desperation. No extra guilt.

“Now,” he stated, forcing my head down. “Take me in.”

By some means he appeared more and more determined.

Instinctively, I fought the stress with my head and neck.

Though he nonetheless had the facility, he struggled to maintain me the place he needed me.

“Simply get me off,” he yelled.

“Simply get you off?” Now I sensed a hint of real concern in him.

“Sure, my angel,” he stated, frantically thrusting his big factor at me, as his fats stomach jiggled comically with every try. “Get me off, my candy.”

God, I can not do that alone.

The odor of the room. The shit. The rubbish. The numerous losses and the ugliness. The terrible little man with the huge temptation.

“You bastard,” I screamed. My hand lashed out. I may really feel the sting because it caught him within the face. That ache felt good, so I hit him once more.

His eyes, now blue as soon as extra, appeared shocked and confused.

I felt his factor get slightly smaller in my fingers. With all of the waning power I may muster, I squeezed.

He groaned when he couldn’t simply pry my fingers unfastened.

God loves me too!

I made a seize for the cash. He tried to cease me. I yanked a handful of the fifties from underneath his physique. He grabbed my wrist and squeezed. With my free hand, I pounded on his chest, however he would not let go. In desperation, I bit his hand.

He started screaming like a banshee, his face contorted, his look deranged, however he nonetheless would not let me go.

“You son of a bitch,” I screamed. You’ll be able to’t maintain profitable!

We continued to battle, till lastly, exhausted, I used to be in a position to draw back. I turned and made my transfer to go away the soiled room.

The person reached out once more however was barely in a position to contact my hand.

I glanced over my shoulder to see if he would assault me. He made no different strikes. As a substitute, he was making an attempt to compose himself once more.

I finished momentarily with a view to take a final have a look at the factor that had oppressed me. It was a bit shorter, however nonetheless thick and formidable.

The person picked up what was left of the candle and held it as much as me.

“Sure, go away,” he stated. His eyes once more bore into mine, till emphatically, he added, “Go! However you may come again – you all the time come again.”

With out additional resistance, I rushed out the door and into the world. The illness was nonetheless with me, but, regardless of what was to come back, I may misinform myself not.